So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
