So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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