so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
