i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize