That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
