She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
