Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
