dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just want nice things and good sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
