so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
