So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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