Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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