Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
