Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Someone signed my nipple.
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