i may or may not be watching the land before time
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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