R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
