We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
