my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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