Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
