so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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