i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize