she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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