I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
