you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
