I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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