Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
