she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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