I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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