Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
