Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
