oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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