Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
