Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
