it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
