is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
