Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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