i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
