brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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