So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize