so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
