Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
