are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The power of my boobs compel you
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were trust falling into bushes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
