He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
