so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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