You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
