Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
