he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
