Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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