he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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