need another drink. this is the easiest way
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
