I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
