i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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