you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
