This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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