thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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