Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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