that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
