More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize