Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
