Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
