Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
