VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
