She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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