Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
