As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
