White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
