So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
