My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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