I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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