We're facebook friends in real life
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
