Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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