I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
