woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
