The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize